Thanks Corona for Breaking my Dream

The one thing which always used to fascinate me when I was travelling to different countries, is the bright blue sky and the cotton candy clouds over it. That’s the one thing which I always used to miss in India.
I used to say to my husband that I would live at the place where I could see this view every day when I would wake up in the morning.
But this Lockdown, has broken my dream to go out of India and see those beautiful clouds. I can see them now from my window. Earlier because of pollution we could only see the hazy sky. But now the air is so clean that we can see the clear sky. Thanks Corona for breaking my dream.
If we think of, there are thousands of complaints we have with the current situation. Life is not as normal as what it happens to be. Yesterday only when FB displayed me one picture from 2 years back I started missing that life of freedom.
Its the human nature to keep yearning for what we don’t have and then when we have it we become dissatisfied with that and shift our focus to something else.
We are the first generation who is seeing this much freedom in daily life. No restriction, no boundations, you can plan your day as per your comfort-ability. I doubt any other generation in past had that or any future generation is going to have that.
Now it’s on us, are we going to take it positively or curse it that I have lost my social freedom.
To look at the positive side of the picture is our choice. Every single day we make choices. The same choice can make one person happy and can make another person sad. Breakdown of the car and not able to reach the office can make a person sad as he has to work from home. On the other hand, the other person would be happy in that situation to get the chance to spend the day at home.

While making any choice we need to make the right balance of the elementary items. This balancing act is the most difficult task also. In most of the cases, we drop one item while focusing on another. After that, we have to lift and focus on the item that has got dropped and in turn, risks others.

In real life, people lose their personal life while focusing on their career. After some time the same person starts hating the same career. They blame the company or manager for the losses at family front. Is the company responsible for the same or the choice that person had made in his life?
Similarly, most of us keep spoiling our health during the mad race of earning money. Later on, the same money is spent to recover the poor health.

In the current situation of Covid-19 we all have been in a situation where you don’t have any other option but to live with your family. Didn’t we all use to complain about it when we all were running for our day to day activities?The choices we make and the decisions we make have a long-lasting impact on our life. They make us special, put a bar of distinction between us and everyone else.

Life puts us many times at the crossroad where we need to choose one path. The option we take decides our future and destiny. Sometimes we need to choose from multiple good options and sometimes multiple unwanted choices. It is not that important to keep over-analyzing and keep worrying about why we are in that situation. The more important part is, which option to choose then. The clarity in our mind about our aim, our knowledge, support from our friends and family only helps us to make the decision. There is no clear parameter to decide whether any decision is right or wrong. Our objective is to make the decision.
The perfect way of understanding the process of life is to understand how you have chosen to live your life.
Let’s accept the current situation of Covid-19 and let’s do whatever is possible in this situation. Life would be normal someday and then the stories of lockdown will become the past.
Let’s conquer the situation together.

Stay Happy!

Kiran

Do you always try to please others?

“I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense. ” ― Eve Ensler
Have you ever felt that when you have tried to please someone against your wish, you have put a mask on your face? You were not the person who you are.
Now the question is, why we do so? There could be many reasons for it.
  • We don’t want to create a negative image for ourself.
  • We want to be in good books of others.
  • We don’t want to lose the opportunities.

But this create negative impact:

  • It creates confusion about you for others as you are not being honest to them.
  • It creates discomfort and stress for you.
  • Others start taking advantage of you.
So what you can do when you know that it will not take you anywhere in the long run.
  1. You try to please people thinking that, what they will think about you. However, the fact is that no one has time to think about anyone else. Everyone is so busy with their own life.
  2. It is sometimes totally impossible to please a few people. Because it’s not about you, it’s about them. It’s their nature and behaviour.
  3. If you feel pressure from another person to say “YES”, and you also know that you don’t want to say “YES”, give them other options to try. Maybe they will get agree for that.
  4. When you will be honest to yourself, another person would also understand that if it would have been possible, you would have agreed for the task.
  5. Saying “No” will give you a tough situation for some time but in the end, you will be at peace of mind.
  6. Saying “NO” in an assertive way will not make another person also feel bad. You don’t have to get into argument to prove yourself.
How to prepare yourself?
  • If you are clear in your mind, as what you want from yourself, you will not be dependent on others to be the reason for your happiness.
  • Be the decision-maker of your life, don’t let others drive your life.
  • Keep the principles and values of your life clear to yourself.
In trying to keep others pleased, sometimes we forget to please ourself. Be yourself, keep yourself happy and you would be able to keep others happy.
-Stay Happy Always
Kiran

Run your own race

“Don’t try to catch up to others because you want to have their success. Go after your own. Avoid the comparison trap and run your own race.”

A vivid example of “run your own race “was provided by the final race of men’s 200 meter butterfly final at 2016 Rio Olympics. Phelps, the greatest men’s swimmer was going to be tested for his effort to win gold because his chief rival, Chad Le Clos, the best butterfly swimmer, who had won gold at 2012 London Olympics defeating Phelps, was also participating.

Competition was on and both knew that they had to focus and concentrate on themselves only and no one else.

On the final lap, Phelps turned it on and passed Le Clos. A one milli second look that Le Clos  gave to Phelps when he passed him did the whole thing. Le Clos was so focused and concerned about Phelps coming on him to take back his gold that he lost focus. He started worrying about his competitor. He didn’t make it to the medal stand. Phelps kept going and focusing on the end goal. He won another gold medal.

The event went down in the history with a clear message:      “ RUN YOUR OWN RACE.“ Don’t worry about what others are doing – especially if you find it turning into envy or frustration. You are on your path for a reason. Know your purpose, clarify your goals and keep powering forward with confidence and conviction.

You don’t have to look over your shoulder at anyone to know whether you are moving in right direction or not. In any race whether it is a sporting event or your professional race, you need to focus on running your own race. You should focus on achieving your competitive greatness, that is, using your energy on bettering yourself and focusing on doing the absolute best you can for yourself. The moment you start looking over your shoulder what other people are doing, you lose focus. You lose time and finally lose the race.

The best efforts combined with your natural talents, skills, goals, purpose and mission are indestructible and all powerful. Set goals, set bar very high but don’t shift these things around for what you perceive others to be doing. This breeds envy and envy converts itself into frustration, anger, jealousy, hatred and even laziness. Envy seems like it’s a convertible energy good at first but it always ends up badly.

For instance suppose you are an IT professional who is making an App. Does it really matter to you whether someone else is also making similar App or not? I think answer would be a BIG NO. Timing may matter in some cases but ultimately it is the best product that always wins.

Similarly suppose you are aspiring to reach a coveted post of Head of Operations or CEO of your organization, then it’s really about you, not them. We waste time comparing ourselves to others When the only comparative analysis we need is to measure our progress against the absolute best version of ourselves.

Everyone wants to feel loved and important. Everyone wants to feel good about one’s life, one’s goals, one’s dreams and accomplishments until one comes across someone doing better than them. Ignoring people and focusing on one’s own path or one’s own race helps but it helps only sometimes, it’s hard to ignore everyone all the time.

What usually happens with most of us is that we get drifted from our path or our focus gets blurred and we start counting what we are not doing, what we haven’t achieved, what we have yet to do. We forget to cherish and celebrate our achievements and rather take them for granted and immerse ourselves into an ocean of others’ achievements which we haven’t done or simply we start comparing ourselves with others, whereas the fact is that everyone is playing a different game, everyone’s achievements are unique. There is no comparison but we tend to think and make ourselves believe that others are better than us and have achieved more than us and that we should be sad about it. We get upset about it. But we should be cautious and not allow ourselves to drown into an ocean of negativity.

“So run your own race, focus on your own path and don’t bother about others.”

 

To your Happiness

Kiran Jain

 

 

Friendship is the Best Gift of Life

Friendship Day has just passed. It’s the day when we express our feeling to our friends. We all know that it’s the presence of friends only which makes life beautiful. This is the relation which we don’t get by birth but we earn as per our nature and behavior. This is the only relationship which is pure and which doesn’t expect any returns. There are some untold rules of a friendship and which are important to follow to have long term relationship.

  • A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
  • A true friend is always there for you when you are in trouble, feel sad, angry, mad or happy.
  • A true friend is loyal, trustworthy and stands by you during hard times.
  • A true friend stands up for you when others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, he/she does everything to make sure that you are safe and defends you anytime, anywhere without reservation or reward.
  • A true friend is authentic and honest with you. He/she doesn’t mince words, gives genuine opinion whether you like it or not; Never gives a false feedback, doesn’t hesitate to tell you your shortcomings but also shows you the goodness of your persona.
  • A true friend accepts you as you are. He/she encourages you to become a better person than what you are.
  • A real and true friend doesn’t abandon you in hard times. Your success and happiness makes him/her happy and proud of you.
  • A real and true friendship is not lost over time gap or distance. There are no complaints for not meeting or talking for a long time. It doesn’t really matter. Your love, affection and concern for each other doesn’t diminish.

True friendship is not developed in one day, it is to be cultivated and nurtured over time. It is built on mutual trust and support and enriches life immensely. It has to stand the test of time when different phases and situations in one’s life reveal the true nature of friendship that a person exhibits or supports.

To be a real and true friend you can adopt certain mindsets and actions that help you to nurture a real and true friendship and evolve you as a really true friend.

  • Always be there for your friend. He/She should always have faith that he/she can count on you. Show up and be there in person with him/her when there is need to give support and confidence in hard times. Reassure him/her that you are always there by his/her side.
  • Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth, no matter how difficult it may appear. In times of need, guide him/her with your honest opinion.
  • Accept the person as he/she is, as an individual, without conditions. If you are conservative and your friend is liberal, don’t criticise. Don’t try to change your friend and make him see the world through your perspective. Accept each other with your flaws.
  • Be kind and always listen patiently. Cheer him/her up when he/she is upset and make the atmosphere light. Be serious when there is a need.
  • Be loyal and generate trust and confidence in your friendship. Be always open and inviting to share concerns .He/she should have trust and confidence that with you his/her secrets are safe and secure.
  • Be genuinely happy when he/she gets, receives or achieves something.
  • Show your honest appreciation for his/her every small act. Make him/her feel comfortable in your company as much as he/she feels when he/she is by him/her self.
  • Don’t hold grudges over petty disagreements. Be loving and respectful always. If your friend has certain beliefs and values which don’t align with your own, respect his/her choices and be open to hear about them. Don’t allow your ego to obstruct the path of your true friendship. If your friend talks things that you find boring, annoying and uncomfortable, give him/her space to speak. Your friend should feel comfortable voicing his/her opinion that you don’t agree to.
  • Always keep your promises to generate trust and confidence in your friendship. It may not be possible to keep your promises always but that should be once in a while, not quite often. Don’t ever make a promise that you can’t keep. Explain the situation. “Nos” don’t weaken the true friendship but broken promises do.
  • Apologise if you make a mistake or break a promise .Say sorry with sincerity, your friend should feel it. It will not lower your prestige rather it will increase your respect in his/her eyes. If your friend makes a mistake forgive and forget.
  • Don’t let your friends feel left out. Just because you have acquired higher position, power and money, don’t distance from your friends. Always remember their support and help in your hard times.
  • Don’t use your friends to take advantage of their position and power only. Be selfless and reciprocate the act of kindness and caring deeds of your friends. Go beyond the call of duty. Recognise the moment when you need to go above board and beyond limits to help your friends. Don’t worry it comes back.

Allow your friendship to evolve and mature according to each phase of your life. With changing phases of your life from school to college to a married person your life has changed. Your responsibilities have changed, so must your friendship. Think of your friendship as flexible and elastic and not solid and rigid. Appreciate the changes your friendship has made over the years and learn to grow along with it.

Real and true friendship is strong enough to pass the test of time.  It is not affected by changes in status of friends. Real and true friendship is the most precious asset of one’s life, therefore, it should be handled with utmost care. It should be nurtured with love and affection, respect and appreciation, loyalty and trust and selfless dedication.

Happy Friendship Day!

Kiran

Do you love to take Selfies?

It may sound weird, but yes taking “Selfies” is an indication that you love yourself. Of course it’s not the ONLY parameter, however it shows that you love yourself the way you are. In today’s topic I am going to talk about this only.

Do you remember the times when you were disappointed with yourself and thought what was wrong with you? Why you felt like a failure? You frowned and withdrew yourself into your cocoon, cut off from the rest of the world and kept thinking that you were making too many mistakes, just not getting anything right, often fought with others, kept complaining and hated yourself that it was always your fault, you always let yourself down and that you couldn’t trust yourself ever to do anything right.

This is typically how most people tend to treat themselves. They would love themselves only when they feel they are good and successful in the eyes of others. They would love themselves only when they do things always right, when things happen the way they had planned and others love them for being good and successful in their eyes.

What then is the right way to treat yourself?

Self-love – is the answer.

The most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is the commitment to love and accept yourself. It directly affects the quality of your relationships, your work, your free time, your faith and your future.

Desire to be perfect can lead to self-criticism, self-hatred and results in eating disorders, mental and emotional disorders. The greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace, appreciate and love yourself, with all your imperfections.

How then to start loving yourself?

You don’t have to because it is already there but you have created barriers and walls in your mind against it. You create these barriers and walls by comparing yourself with others. You find many faults and shortcomings in yourself. You find that many qualities, traits and blisses are missing in you that are present in others and you consider yourself below them. You forget to count the qualities, traits and blisses that are present in you but probably missing in others. You are unkind to yourself. You have to break those barriers and push through those walls. You have to learn to be your own best friend, because sometimes you fall too easily into the trap of being your own worst enemy. You always aspire for others loving you. You try to develop those qualities or traits which will make others love you, which others want to see in you to love you. You forget the value of your own qualities and traits. You forget to love yourself.

Therefore, it’s time to tell yourself what you love about yourself and how to do that?

* Focus less on winning the approval of others. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to get permission from anyone else for doing something different from others.

* Distance yourself from those who bring you down. Don’t worry too much about folks who don’t worry about you. When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose. Keep your friends limited to those who motivate, inspire and respect you.

* Forgive yourself for what you think you did or you didn’t do in the past and focus on what you will do now on. Consider that after all you are a human being and made some mistakes and wrong choices. It’s over, move on.

* Start making the changes you know you need to do. If you want to see changes in your life today, you will have to do the things that you have never done before. Move away from the things that drain you and move towards the activities that empower and fulfil you.

* To be successful in the long run you have to fail sometimes. So the fear of making wrong decision should not prevent you from taking any decisions.

* Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now. No, you won’t get whatever you want and wherever you want to be but you have to be grateful for what you have and where are you are, for a lot of people don’t have even that.

* Do something every day that makes you happy. There is a big difference in empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. There is nothing selfish about self-care. While travelling in aeroplane do you remember instructions given by air hostess that in case of low air pressure or other emergencies, first take care of your own self before helping others. The same applies here also. Do things that move you by caring for yourself, by doing things you care about.

* Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunities. Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about everything. Listen to your inner voice. Believe in your abilities. Pay close attention to your life as you are living it.

* Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all. All self-misery has its roots in self-pity and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too seriously. If you take everything too seriously especially yourself, you will wind up fearing every new step you take. Loosen up and laugh it off when you can – especially when things don’t go as planned. People with good sense of humour have better sense of life. You grow up when you can laugh at yourself and your circumstances.

* Last but not the least, go out of the way to be loving and kind to others too. Almost everything comes full circle. People who love themselves come across as very caring, generous and kind to others too. They express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.

To sum up, we find most people treat themselves unfairly. They are unkind to themselves. They consider themselves below others, always doing things wrong.

Are you also trapped in this kind of situation? Do you also criticise yourself? Do you also feel you are no good and you are below others?

Then you are missing self-love.

Self-love is the solution to bring yourself out of this trap.

So start loving yourself from today. Stand in front of mirror and shout at yourself “I Love You”. “You are the Best”. Do this 20 times every day. It may sound stupid in the beginning, however you will see the difference soon. And yes don’t forget to take Selfies and Hug Yourself :).

Have a Selfie Day

Kiran

Yes, Marriages are made in heaven.

I looked at the open drawer which was hanging like a cantilever and then I looked at the open door of the cupboard which was “flying” with its full freedom because of the wind in the room. This was the scene when I entered the room after my “better half”, left for the office. I took a long breath and then closed the drawer and door of the cupboard with a smile. Initially I used to point out him for changing this habit but then I stopped.

Over the years I have realised that if you can change something, change it and feel happy about it and if you can’t change something, start living with it and you will still be happy. And believe me when you start living with it, you start enjoying it. Because making issue of these small-small things can depart us from the happiness of the life.

I too have bad habits and he is living with them 🙂 .

And sometimes you can use these to add spice in the life. Like I can tease him in the morning, “You were feeling hungry while working late night, right?”. He will ask me “How do You Know?”. And I would not tell him that I know by looking at the boxes whose lids were left open after using them :).

Everyone has his/her own strength and weakness. If we keep on pointing the bad part and never appreciate the good part, it will definitely bring the bitterness in the relationship.

Of course, I am not a Marriage Guru, who can give “Tips and Tricks” for Successful Marriage, but yes I can share whatever I have learnt in this journey of married life.

As a great building is constructed on a strong and firm foundation so is a marriage. A Strong marriage sails through the storms of life and enjoys the pleasures of good times.

A solid foundation of marriage doesn’t rest on the intensity of the love you have, rather it is the sense of safety, ease and comfort in relationship that makes a strong marriage foundation. Hardships or good times, life adds weight and value to a marriage. A solid foundation bears the weights of life firmly on which a marriage stands strongly.

There are few things which we can do for building strong marriage foundation:

  1. The most important thing in any marriage is “RESPECT” towards each other: Respect each other even when you disagree with each other on certain issues. Your language, tone and pitch should be respectful. If you are not out of your mind when angry, you have a strong marriage.
  2. Love is a very important factor in building a strong marriage. Two individuals consciously take the decision to love each other. A successful marriage needs two people who have decided to love each other.
  3. Trust is another important factor in building strong marriage. It is gained and increases over time with trustworthy actions. Trust is not automatic, it takes time, yet it can be lost with one wrong action. The efforts must be made to honour each other with trustworthy actions.
  4. Two married individuals, with or without children, are a family unit. Commitment to this family unit is a must. Your every action should communicate that you are committed and will not allow anything or anyone to come between you.
  5. Marriage is not between two individuals, it is in fact between two families. When in-laws connection works well, the couple is less stressed and relationship gets support from in-laws during adversities and maintains harmony in good times.
  6. Respectful communication is a problem, no one is perfect at it. Open and honest communication is an expectation. If we can establish a way to communicate respectfully under conditions of crisis in relationship, then we have a strong marriage. Husbands and wives must learn the art of speaking in a manner that your mate can receive and each one must learn to actively listen with a heart to understand.
  7. Don’t have very high expectations from your marriage. With an expectation of baseline happiness, a marriage is less likely to buckle under pressure and more likely to survive.
  8. You accept that your partner is not perfect. No one is perfect, neither you nor your partner. Face it, accepting each other with flaws is a base for strong marriage. Flaws like husband leaving shoes/socks anywhere, wet towel on the bed and wife losing keys & dropping mobile phone every now and then are not going to change in a day or two. Many of these habits may improve but many of them will never change. Appreciate all good habits, make peace and adjust with ones that won’t change.
  9. Successful couples work well together as a team. This doesn’t mean they don’t have disagreements. They have compatibility, that means they work through their differences respectfully amongst themselves and work well as a great team.
  10. Share how much you love each other. Partners, who as a habit, appreciate what they like in each other, if they see something positive and avoid looking for and pointing out negatives, have a strong marriage.

Have you watched the movie “Honeymoon Travels”. Other than the other messages, there was a hidden message in the movie. Out of the six couples, the one which was considered ideal, was not real, they were the superheroes. So the conclusion is that it’s not possible to be a perfect couple in real (ha-ha-ha). So enjoy the happiness of marriage with imperfections .

Have a Happy(Married) Life

Kiran

Simpler Living

“Simple living is key to healthy and happy life”

Simpler life has a different meaning and value for every individual. For me it is doing only what is important and essential and eliminating everything else. It means getting rid of lot of things which are not important or essential so that you can save time to spend with people you love and do the things you love.

It means getting rid of clutter so that you are left with only that which gives you value.

To understand simpler living you must understand the concept of enough. How much is enough? How to recognise when you have enough, enough stuff, enough money, enough clothes, enough food, enough space (square feet), enough vehicles, enough works, enough materials and choose to be satisfied.

Life with satisfaction of enough is fuller than the one with greed for more. We have to exhibit to our next generations by practising in our life that accumulating more stuff is not the key to happiness. Do not store material possessions instead store good deeds.

De-clutter your life and lifestyle. Reduce your clothes/wardrobe, furniture, journeys, vehicles, travel stuff/bags, living room stuff, house (smaller). De-clutter tight time schedules, walk to your workplace, your bank, your market if they are not far away, walk with your children to drop them at the school if it is not very far away or walk to the bus stand to drop your children if they are going by school bus, reduce the size of your house, smaller car, travelling with less baggage, eating at simpler places, requiring lesser money for daily needs, self cooking instead of fast food or expensive restaurant food, less expensive watches, clothes, camera, mobile phone.

Connect with people, family, friends and acquaintances. Talk to them often, visit them once in awhile, connect with nature , go to the park, walk on the wet grass in the morning, do some gardening, feel the air,  watch the sky, listen to the music of nature, listen to the birds chirping, watch the children playing, enjoy and relax in the nature. Gift the surplus stuff to the underprivileged.

Make morning & evening routines to simplify your life. Insert walk, exercise, Pooja and meditation, reading/writing in the morning and evening routines and a small nap in the afternoon after lunch, in your chair if you are in office or in your bed if you’re at home.

Leave space between tasks for the day instead of keeping them packed back-to-back. Avoid multi-tasking which is more stressful, complicated and exhausting . Do one task at a time. Reduce time spent on your social sites, Internet, TV, phone etc. Drive slowly, eat slowly, enjoy doing each task in a relaxed manner. The world is moving faster day by day. You can do things fast with the advanced gadgets, technology and save time to relax and not to add more work load to your work day. In this fast age do a few things primitive. And most important do all these changes to relax and not to show off on the social sites. A new trend is observed now a days – simpler living has become a fashion statement with the super rich. They show off their simple living set up, designed by their interior designers, on the social sites and claim that they have now switched to simpler living. Avoid that. The purpose will be defeated, if you do that.

Have a Simple and Happy Life

Kiran

The Art of Getting What You Want

Getting what you want is an art and that too a fine art. This art can be GOD gifted or developed also. The first step in the direction of getting what you want is, you should know exactly what you want. The wants can be desires that you wish to fulfil. The desires can be of material things or non material things like name, fame, position, achievements etc.

You can’t achieve everything that you want or everything that you desire in one go, therefore, set the goals  and visualise the strategy to achieve them.

⁃ Prioritise your relationships, that is, develop network, develop contacts or use contacts you already have to promote your ideas or products.

⁃ Sacrifice something to achieve something else. You lose your time, money or personal relationship to achieve your set goals.

⁃ Be resourceful. Outsource the work that you are not skilled to do. This will save your time & money and improve the quality of deliverables.

⁃ Try a different approach if you are not getting the results with the procedure you are following.

If you passionately strive to achieve something or desire for something, then the whole divinity, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve that or conspires to fulfil your desires. Believe in yourself, believe that you are spiritual being and you believe in the above maxim religiously, then observe your thoughts. You get what you think. If you think of giving, the universe will provide that, if you think of losing things then you attract similar energies. You get what thoughts you align yourself with.

Believe in your own divine power. Everyone of us has divine power of God. Your belief will help you achieve your wish. If you can dream big then GOD gives you the power. Only thing needed is believe in yourself and have patience. Align yourself with feeling of wish fulfilled . Take stock of how natural your dream looks to you, the more natural it looks to you the faster you will achieve it.

Follow the principle of achieving higher position or self growth through your excellence , not by deceit or selfishness, not by hook or crook, not by harm to others or pulling down others.

Finally know what you already have is enough. When you stop needing more of everything, more of what you desire seems to arrive.

Take Care and Believe in Yourself

Kiran

How to be always Positive.

Positivity is how you interpret or respond to the situation, circumstances and happenings in your life or your surroundings or around you. Positivity is when you see opportunity in adversity, when you see the bright light beyond the darkness. When you see happiness beyond the sadness, anger and challenges that you are experiencing in your life.
It is not necessary that you reject all negative feelings rather you can interpret and respond to them differently. For instance it is always said that when we fail to avail an opportunity We should think that God has something better for us in store than cursing our luck or our capabilities.
In another instance of heavy rains in Mumbai last year, a doctor left his car with his driver and started walking back home through flooded streets while other motorists self driving the car cursed themselves and thought that the doctor was lucky to have a driver. But as the fate would have it the doctor fell into an open gutter never to return. Therefore, if there is delay in your achievements or if you fail in your attempts you should still think that it must be for your betterment.Therefore always think positive even if the situation appears to be negative or adverse. This positive thinking has to be practised. With some practice, patience and perseverance you can always remain positive. You must practice the following if you feel you are being too negative in your life.

0. Positivity is a choice. Your attitude to look at the things positively is your choice. You must realise that it is your attitude to look at the things, situations or happenings in and around your life that matters. You stop blaming your fate, situations or circumstances, your parents, friends or colleagues for the adversities in your life. It is your choice to feel good and positive about the happenings, to look for opportunities to improve, explore, move ahead to finally achieve your goals or targets. It is your choice to find optimistic view point in a negative situation.
0. Get rid of negative influence in your life. When you look at things negatively, all negative people, negative influences get attracted towards you. Get rid of them. Negative influences and people do not encourage happiness and positivity. Negative people would pitch you up for achieving perfection and then fill you up with negativity when you don’t achieve perfection. Remember perfection is not the aim, happiness is because it is not possible to achieve perfection but it is possible to feel happy by nearing perfection. So get rid of your negative behaviours like drug and alcohol abuse because it is hard to live a positive life when negative people and behaviours continually pull you down. Also don’t let vague fears hold you back from doing what you want.
0. Look for the positive in life. In every person, in every situation there is something good. If it is not obvious, not visible you have to work hard, concentrate hard, you will find that a difficult or challenging situation will teach lesson, Will give an experience. So at the very least you can learn from the bad experience. However, if you really look hard you might be able to understand the hidden agenda of creator of this complex programme of our life. That is, to divert you to a different path, to set your journey towards different Horizons. Maybe through you something is to be discovered, invented or explored.
0. Practice positivity to reinforce it in yourself. Everyone has positive and negative attributes. Don’t focus on what you don’t like about yourself. Focus on the positive attributes in you. Tell yourself you are very good, you look awesome, you did a great job at work or by improving the living standard of your family. So keep reminding yourself about the positive attributes in you. And about negative attributes, tell yourself everyone has some of them. It is okay, every human being has some of these. You are better than many of them.
0. Share positivity with others . Not only do you need to be positive with yourself but you also need to be positive with others. The best way to do this is simple and basic: Be nice to people, no matter what. Tell someone she/he looks nice today. Tell someone she/he did a great job. Tell your parents/children how much you love them and how great they are. When someone is feeling down do whatever to cheer him/her. Send flowers, write notes, call them or talk to them. All these things look basic but we generally forget to practice them. Make it a part of your behaviour. Practice it more often. When you don’t see good in yourself, you are critical towards others also. Strive to be encouraging and supportive to others. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Remember people appreciate positivity. When you feel you are drifting from the positive attitude take one small step to move yourself towards positive attitude. Believe in yourself and remember positive outlook is a choice which you can always make.

Stay Positive,  Stay Happy

Kiran

Do you feel Frustrated?

What is the frustration and from where does it evolve ?
Frustration sets in when we decide that it is imperative for us to know that, which we fail to comprehend. We suffer through feeling of anxiety and aggravation because we have not yet mastered the art of patience, acceptance and trust.
All frustrations stem from lack of understanding of the fact that we can never know everything, that so many things are not meant for our understanding at the exact time of their occurrence. However, we may understand them later in life.
Majority of anger and frustration in life is due to our own personal set of rules that we follow in life. We believe that things work perfectly if these rules are followed and want everyone else to follow the same. We tend to believe that our rules are right and others should do it our way. The basis of this conflict is that we think others should change, Suggesting that our rules are right and others’ rules are wrong. When others don’t follow the same set of rules, we get angry and frustrated. We forget that we live in a world of diversity and there are no universal concepts that apply to every religion, race or culture. This personal rule book incorporates our beliefs, ideas and values, which we acquire in life through our experiences. When things don’t happen the way we want them to happen we feel worried and out of control. We get agitated and send out negative energy that only serves to block the resolution we desire.

How to cope with it?

When you see that things are not happening as you desire, think that there must be some reason behind it which probably you do not understand at this moment. For example you may miss your flight inspite of starting early because you encounter unusual traffic jam on the way or you fail to meet the minister because suddenly he had to rush for an emergency meeting with the Prime Minister or you drained your phone battery just when you wished to make a very important call, probably due to crypto hacking.
You must recognise that there is something unforeseen going on here. Perhaps you are meant to avoid dangerous situations, you missed the flight because some mishap was in the offing, you missed the appointment with the minister because outcome would have been negative. Now the things have changed and you can expect a positive outcome. Never rush and never be disappointed that situation isn’t going smoothly. It is undoubtedly a blessing in disguise. These are no random acts – there is always the meaning, even if you don’t see it. So don’t try to waste your energy taking issue with what is happening. Just go with the flow.

How can you do that?

When something is not being done the way we want it done, or someone is not doing what we want, then we have a real challenge dealing with it. The frustration builds up inside us like a pot of boiling water ready to boil over. The circumstances do not make any sense to us. We analyse how this could possibly be done, scratch our head and try to figure out how to fix it. What we have to realise is that there are creative solutions and opportunities and people that get brought in to save the day. So whenever you find chaos and situation getting out of control, when something looks like disaster, know that a big change from the old or traditional is coming for the new and better order.

What is the answer?

Now a days, when social media has become the medium to show the happiness and happenings in life,  i will take example of this only. Its a common situation when people wait for something to be posted. I am sure you sometime anxiously wait for your “happening life” to be posted on the web, all the while saying to yourself, why haven’t they posted yet? What is taking so long? When are they going to post? Now why is the network down? This is perfect example of giving something too much energy obsessing about the situation. If you quit thinking, the answer will come , the result will be posted , or something else will take care of it. Understand that at frustrating moments such as these you are being taught patience and art of allowing letting go. It is not easy to surrender to the possibility of unknown outcomes but you will receive your answer one way or the other. Taking your mind off of the things, you will be amazed how quickly and perfectly everything falls into place – even better than you could have imagined.
In fact it is very difficult to pass time when you are waiting. Even five minutes appear to be as long as one hour. If you take your mind off to some other activity then one hour will pass and you will feel may be only few minutes have passed. So get involved in some other activity while you wait for something to happen. Things will always happen at their own time but if you are busy with other things you will not feel the wait.
What do you think, how does it all happen? How does suddenly things / situations get into a chaos and then the new order appears, new characters enter the field and all falls into place. Who does it – there is some supernatural design, some supernatural power which does it all. We must have faith and we must try to keep normal as much as possible.

Where do you go from here?

Life is a process. Trust it. They today, hour to hour happenings in our life may appear totally unrelated on the surface but the truth is that there is orchestrated , interlocking chain of events occurring. The human in us always wants to know what is going on and why but we don’t always need to know. Even in times of major upheaval and turmoil, understand that it is part of a necessary process and after the storm has passed the fruit will emerge.

Stay Happy,  Stay Positive!

Kiran